1. The First Step

 It’s going to be a long journey.  But, I have to start somewhere.  So, here I am doing something I swore I’d never do.  Of course, the more I experience life, the more I understand the phrase, “Never say never.”  I was never going be anything other than  a doctor (everyone told me so)…until I admitted to myself that, while I was capable of becoming a doctor, what I really wanted to do was teach and raise a family.  I was never going to be anything less than an amazing teacher…until my first teaching job shattered my illusions of what “teaching” meant.  I knew for certain that I would never do this or that with MY children…until I had children and realized babies and toddlers have minds of their own.  I would never leave the Bay Area and all my family and friendsuntil Mike’s job offers led us to New York…and Chicago…and, 5 years later, back to SF.   I would never give up my career to be a stay-at-home-mom (lose my identity and waste my education?  No, thank you)until I chose to walk away from a part-time teaching position I loved to move to NY with Mike and Ashby (and Ryan on the way).  I soon realized, however, that being a stay-at-home-mom was more fulfilling to me than spending my day in a classroom (away from my own kids).  

  So, no more “never.”  It’s still my natural reaction sometimes, when faced with an option that I didn’t plan, to immediately think, “no,” and feel my body tighten with anxiety.  But,  it’s a fleeting feeling.  I understand myself well enough now to know that, given a couple days to think and process a big change, I can adapt to pretty much anything.  Flexibility makes for a much better life, I think.  So, this is me adapting yet again.  These past experiences have brought me to today.  I am a stay-at-home-mom and a teacher.  I started homeschooling Ashby in Chicago, and we continue it now here in the SF Bay Area.  Ryan joined in a couple years ago, too.  I love where I am, and I’m thankful for all the successes and failures that brought me here.  As much as I love to plan, I accept that life could care less about my plans.  Much like a baby, it has a mind of its own.  I look forward to seeing where it leads me.  For now, I’ll focus on teaching the kids.  I know I need to keep a digital record of our homeschooling adventure; but, a blog?  Everyone and their mother has one, and I would never do something so trendy…until now.

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2 thoughts on “1. The First Step

  1. mremak Post author

    Thanks for the comment! I figured I’d be the only one reading this for now. It’s nice to know I’m not alone on the road. 🙂

    Like

    Reply

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